Writing love letters to those who do not love you can be a loving practice.

Know the essence of mind. Its intrinsic essence is pure clarity. It is essentially the same as a Buddha. Know the functions of the mind. Its functions produce the treasure of teachings. When its activity is always silent, myriad illusions become suchness. Constantly be aware, without stopping. When the aware mind is present, it senses the formlessness of things. Constantly see your body as empty and quiet, inside and outside communing sameness. Plunge the body into the realm of reality, where there has never been any obstruction. Keep to unity without shifting. With constant presence, whether active or still, the student can see the Buddha nature clearly.
- Tao-hsin (580-651)

Reality is where we wish to live.

Let's be remarkable.

Let's read and write love letters.

It's good practice.

The beauty of Cape Breton gave itself to us.

To know that the one good is balance and yet not to reach balance, to know all phenomena are mind and yet not to understand mind; this is confusion. To know the matter of birth and death is serious and yet not to realize birthlessness, to know impermanence is swift and yet not to realize there is fundamentally no speed; this is confusion.
- Records of the Lanka

I am often confused.

If you would speak with me, you'd know how confusion gives itself to me.

And yet, I rest in the doubt that only those that love God dare question.

Just ask.

Away a few days.

Becoming a buddha is easy
But ending illusions is hard
So many frosted moonlit nights
I’ve sat and felt the cold before dawn.
- Shih-wu (1272-1352)

Harvest moon.

Respite.

Who was it said something like, "He lived a little distance from his life"?

I've gone there.

Withdraw now from
the invisible pounding and weaving
of your ingrained ideas.
If you want to be rid of this
invisible turmoil, you must just sit
through it and let go of everything.
Attain fulfillment and illuminate thoroughly.
Light and shadow altogether forgotten.
Drop off your own skin,
and the sense-dusts will be fully purified.
The eye then readily discerns the brightness.
- Hongzhi Zhengjue (1091 - 1157)

It's as though there is this train station. Empty. No train coming. Leaves blow between rails.

As they travelled along they met a man on the road who said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go". Jesus answered, "Foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head". (Luke 9:57ff)

No one is speaking, no words are heard. What is heard with these ears drops to ground.

Much sand in this desert.

Leaves fall to earth.

Sweep-broom unsettles them.

Nothing is seen.

Transitus of Francis of Assisi. The poor one expires. Who will hear the many poor today?

He who shuts his ears to the cry of the poor will himself also cry out and not be heard.
-Proverbs 21:13

Finishing the Ten Oxherding Pictures in Kennedy's book tonight at conversation. Compassionate service returning to the marketplace. I'm still looking for the ox. In fact, I'm so unripe, I don't even suspect that there is an ox and that he is misplaced.

Beware of gnawing the ideogram of nothingness:
Your teeth will crack.
Swallow it whole, and you've a treasure
Beyond the hope of Buddha and the Mind.
The east breeze fondles the horse's ears:
How sweet the smell of plum.
- Karasumaru-Mitsuhiro (1579-1638)

I walk Sand Point to lighthouse then visit the Franciscan hermit in her yurt. We talk of solar panels, Clare painting, and the molecules of God calling her back. The sun is warm. I go to pier to read student's papers.

Earth and sea are quiet under spreading clouds. The gravity of God's love draws us return with awareness.

As the time drew near for him to be taken up to heaven, Jesus resolutely took the road for Jerusalem and sent messengers ahead of him. These set out, and they went into a Samaritan village to make preparations for him, but the people would not receive him because he was making for Jerusalem. Seeing this, the disciples James and John said, "Lord, do you want us to call down fire from heaven to burn them up?" But he turned and rebuked them, and they went off to another village.
Luke 9:51 - 56

Even then, companions of Jesus ask to punish a village that does not welcome their journey. Jesus is beside himself. They want to burn the place with fire. He chews them out with reprimand -- what mind do they have that immediately wants to destroy?

Francis, too, cannot abide the mind of his generation once he becames what Jesus became -- poor and humble in the world.

Swallow nothingness whole.

How tasty tonight's topfenkuchen!

Transition well -- lovers of Francis, of Christ!

Sh'ma Yisrael Adonai Elohaynu Adonai Echad.
Hear, Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One.

Each

One is one.

Baruch Shem Kavod Malchuto LeOlam V’aed,
Blessed is the Name of His Glorious Kingdom for all eternity.

The Lord Alone.

This is a welcome home.

Another is no other.

Yom Kippur urges atonement and return. It is good to call to mind how we step away from God and how we might return.

Without consciousness,
Time and space do not exist;
They appear within Consciousness
But have no reality of their own.
It is like a screen on which
All this is cast as pictures and move
As in a cinema show.
The Absolute Consciousness
Alone is our real nature.
- Ramana Maharshi

Sure its hard to see who we are while wandering away from our true self.

The concept of teshuvah as "return" emphasizes the fundamental spiritual potential of every person. Chassidic thought teaches that within each of us resides a Divine soul, a spark of G-d.[4] This infinite G-dly potential represents the core of our souls, our genuine "I".
From this perspective, sin and evil are superficial elements that can never affect our fundamental nature. Teshuvah means rediscovering our true selves, establishing contact with this G-dly inner potential and making it the dominant influence in our lives. Seen in this light, our motivation to do teshuvah is not an awareness of our inadequacies, but rather a sensitivity to this infinite potential within our souls.
(In "Teshuvah - Return, Not Repentance" by Rabbi Eliyahu Touger)

Tonight I think we are in orbit elliptically around G-d. As we swing far from center we curve and begin to return. We think, perhaps, we have chosen to return. It is a nice thought. My suspicion is that we return as part and parcel of the gravitational connection any created body has with its creator -- a rotation and orbit that happens of itself.

Our task is to remain aware of the return -- of the going out and the coming back. Failure to be aware of the natural invitation and call to return is a shunning ignorance and lack that creates the illusion of separation and distance.

Coming home again is a radical awareness of the attraction we have to and with our profound center -- the divine reality beyond compare.

Defining teshuvah as "return", however, broadens the scope of its application. For if teshuvah involves gaining access to one's true spiritual potential, it applies to all Jews without exception. The same G-dly spark exists within the soul of every Jew from the most alienated to the most righteous. This Divine potential is infinite; no force or power can prevent its emergence and expression. Every Jew, regardless of his level, can therefore do teshuvah. No matter how low he has descended, there is nothing that can prevent him from reversing his conduct and establishing a bond with G-d.
(Rabbi Eliyahu Touger)

G'wan home.

It's getting late.

C'mon home.

Return well.

There is artifice in this American administration.

Kuei-shan asked Yun-yen
"What is the seat of enlightenment?"
Yun-yen said,
"Freedom from artificiality."
- Kuei-shan (771-854)

It is a seat of shadows.

We need to seek atonement.

Teshuvah -- return to sender.

In "Harakiri" (1962), the Japanese film directed by Masaki Kobayashi, there is a quote by Confucius something to the effect, "If you do not know the heart of words, you do not know the heart of man."

Make no mistake about it; if you do not find it now, you will repeat the same routines for myriad eons, a thousand times over again, following and picking up on objects that attract you. We are no different from Shakyamuni Buddha. Today, in your various activities, what do you lack? The spiritual light coursing through your six senses has never been interrupted. If you can see in this way, you will simply be free of burdens all your life.
- Lin Chi (d 867?)

Speaking in prison with a man this afternoon, the insight that no belief is necessary. Only vital openness to revelation of this unfolding moment is. The presentation of the One we call God -- grateful invitation and hospitality of Christ Reality.

Light is within awareness even as darkness surrounds soul.

We visit one another because there is nothing else to do.

Each visit a revelation.

Thanks for stopping.

Bye.

Listening to opinions and judgments of others. Not much helpful.

Listening to wisdom and compassion of others. Very helpful.

After awakening, it is necessary to always observe and examine yourself. When errant thoughts suddenly arise, do not go along with them at all; reduce them, until you reach the point of noncontrivance, which alone is the ultimate end. This is the ox-herding practice carried on by all illuminates after their enlightenment. Even though there is subsequent cultivation, they have already realized sudden enlightenment.
- Master Chinul (1158-1210)

At conversation this evening Jack said: "Forgiveness is letting go of judgment." We began a reading and study of A Course in Miracles.

The phrase "Being defenseless" resonates.

Opinions and judgments do not know what they are saying.

Wisdom and compassion is not-knowing itself.

Not-knowing itself is a realization of sudden forgiveness.

An enlightened person is a forgiving itself.

There is too much certainty in tight formulations in our world today.

We invite poets to open and loosen -- to embody the way through with us.

W.H. Auden said that "Poetry makes nothing happen."

By listening.

Itself forgiving.

Once, it seems, I was not here.

Look into the sphere of birthless mind!
Let dawn the enjoyment of ceaseless play!
When free of hope and fear, thatÂ?s the result.
Why speak of birth and death?
Come to the natural, unmodified state!
- Milarepa

Soon, I suspect, I won't be here.

What has changed?

If you ask me -- nothing.

Years ago at "Maybe Zen, Maybe Not" -- Tuesday Evening Conversation -- Richard asked for a recipe of how to effect change. Tonight he asked for a shopping list. Perhaps in a few years he will ask about prerequisite hunger.

For those who have no mental vigilance,
Though they may hear the teachings,
Ponder them or meditate,
With minds like seeping water
From a leaking jug,
Their learning will not settle in their memories.
- Santideva

To Richard, I'm all wet. He's right. (Maybe correct too!) We have been battling for years. Tonight we draw even; almost. He says he tips scale at one pound lighter than I do. It's a battle of morning digital readouts. We advance lighter. We encourage one another. I tell him his scale is screwy.

The Buddhist challenge to conventional Western notions of spirituality illuminates the way we set flesh and spirit at war with each other. In Buddhism there is no original sin. Although noticing how we express our sexuality can certainly lead to an awareness of right conduct, the flesh is not regarded as representing a corruption or punishment of any kind, nor as an obstacle to the attainment of enlightenment. The root of human suffering is not sin, but our confusion about ego. We suffer because we believe in the existence of an individual self. This belief splits the world into "I" and "other."
--Stephen Butterfield, Tricycle: The Buddhist Review, Vol. I, #4

Even if the ego is dismantled there is still the task of seeing one another through.

So it is we practice and converse.

His mother and his brothers came looking for him, but they could not get to him because of the crowd. He was told, "Your mother and brothers are standing outside and want to see you." But he said in answer, "My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and put it into practice".
-- Luke 8:19 - 21

We're listening. Trying to resonate "family." So many barriers to let fall!

Diaphanous words demand clear sight.

Tonight, as always, is a good start.

The Constitution of the United States is inconvenient. Some in the current administration would rather not be inconvenienced.

Cesco and I walk Ragged. Early morning and late afternoon. I sit up beyond footbridge by brook reading about structures of consciousness. September curiosity.

Sitting in the Mountains

Rock slab seat
Legs folded
Sitting alone
Not loathing noise
Not savoring silence
The carefree clouds concur.
- Jakushitsu (1290 -- 1367)

Piece by piece day falls away. I fall away. This country falls away. It is autumn. Fall itself gives way.

There's a huge rift occurring. Those who object to the deceit promulgated as patriotic fear-raising are uncertain what to do. Their trust falls away. Their respect for men wielding mendacity falls away. It remains to be seen who will pick up the pieces of this nation once the shredding of Constitution and decency has strewn ground with blood and meaningless slips of discarded principle.

Pieces on the ground. Broken spirit, broken trust.

Poet gives word to us:
"Ring the bells that still can ring / Forget your perfect offering / There is a crack in everything / That's how the light gets in." (from "Anthem" song by Leonard Cohen)

There.

Will light shine through to brighten darkness cast by shadowy men?

Light.

A solitude of strength.

Shine through.

Our broken heart.

Susan performs 21st day ritual of Buddhist prayer for the deceased. Rain falls. Mice hide out. Mist shields Bald. The day is silence under splashing tires passing.

This dharma is such that
It cannot be attained by groping
Or searching about.
In the realm of seeing,
Knowledge perishes.
At the moment of attaining,
Mind is surpassed.
- Dogen

Reading Joan Didion"s piece in New York Review of Books on Cheney. Not much about him to trust. Politics is the swill of the swell.

I stay close to zendo. After sunset. Light fades. Reading about Roshi Robert Kennedy SJ at table.

"There are many different expressions of Catholicism," Kennedy explains slowly, carefully. "One expression that meant a lot to me was the apophatic tradition of the Greek Fathers [contemplative priests of the fourth, fifth, and sixth centuries]. The apophatic tradition is part of our Catholic tradition, even though it is not often expressed in church on Sunday. It says that God is completely ineffable, beyond all words, beyond all theology. We have domesticated God. Most Catholics need a devotional Catholicism, just as most Buddhists need a devotional Buddhism. Zen is different. Zen is the apophatic way."
(from "God Is In the Zendo" Fall 2005 in Tricycle, By Robert Hirschfield)

The world of power and wealth is a real illusion. The real world is as ineffable as is God as is Zen. The illusory world feels more real than the one that is real. Hence, we are chagrined.

"After Zen, I saw everything in a new light. Up until that time, I was trying to build a relationship with Jesus. Then, there was a shift from relationship to identity. I am Jesus! Right now! With all my limitations! It's such a radical statement within Catholicism because many Catholics follow the analogy of relationship. Not that that's wrong, or in any way inferior to identity. It's just a different approach. For me, it's not a question of knowing Christ, or loving Christ as someone outside myself. 'Who is Christ?' leads me back to the question, 'Who am I?'" With Maezumi Roshi, one of the koans he studied was "Who is the Buddha?" One day, in dokusan [a private interview with a Zen teacher] he said to Maezumi, "You are the Buddha!" Maezumi slapped him hard and said, "You too!"
"Now I wish he'd slapped me more. I'd have seen more."
(Hershfield, Tricycle)

Our identity crisis is our not recognizing our identity.

Relationship is not the answer. We are shouted at by wanting. Bodies are where want resides. Mind keeps track of wants. One task is to see through both.

Who is Christ? Who is Buddha?

Nothing to attain.

Empty yourself.

Birds settle on razer wire. A man's mother breathes her last. Fasting and emptiness unite toward humility. We can use all the help we can get.

In utter purity, the bright light pervades all,
With its shining stillness enfolding the great void.
Worldly things, when closely looked at,
Are but illusions seen in dreams.
- Master Han Shan (1546-1623)

In Jeremiah the change is made, first in word, then, in mind and heart. The law is in mind. Written on heart. Now we know. What shall we do with it?

[33.35] Surely the men who submit and the women who submit, and the believing men and the believing women, and the obeying men and the obeying women, and the truthful men and the truthful women, and the patient men and the patient women and the humble men and the humble women, and the almsgiving men and the almsgiving women, and the fasting men and the fasting women, and the men who guard their private parts and the women who guard, and the men who remember Allah much and the women who remember-- Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a mighty reward. (The Koran)

There is nothing else if not forgiveness.

Authentic law is forgiveness.

Forgive you, forgive me.

Empty yourself.

Empty myself.

All will know.

Autumn begins just after midnight.

Ramadan begins at first light.

Let there be nothing behind you; leave the future to one side. Do not clutch at what is left in the middle; then you will become a wanderer and calm.
- Sutta Nipata

When everything falls away, is set aside, it is time to dance.

Wandering tune.

Nothing heard.

Ungrasping.

Bookshop disintegrates. That's the feeling tonight.

Hard rain, our gathered firewood scant;
Lamp frozen, glimmers not at night.
In the cave, wind blows stones and mud.
Moss engravings weatherstrip rickety door.

Brooks in torrent untiring;
People’s words more and more rare.
Where schemes calm heart?
Sitting in the lotus,
Wrapped in robes of Zen.
- The Monk Hsu Yun

Last evening, "Emptiness Dancing."

Tonight, music ceases.

Let things be?

A tiny bit of consciousness. So small. It is frightening to glance out. Even if this bit sees something very very large, what would it do with what it sees?

Sleep seems very desirable. To fall into the dream of small within large. This and this and this. From town to region to state to country to continent to world to planet to solar system to galaxy to infinite space to life to being itself to all that is known and unknown to the entirety.

I am He!
Mind, nor intellect, nor ego, feeling;
Sky nor earth nor metals am I.
I am He, I am He, Blessed spirit, I am He!
No birth, no death, no caste have I;
Father, mother, have I none.
I am He, I am He, Blessed spirit, I am He!
Beyond the flights of fancy, formless am I,
Permeating the limbs of all life;
Bondage I do not fear; I am free, ever free.
I am He, I am He, Blessed spirit, I am He!
(Poem by Shankaracharya, India, 8th C. AD)

We do not know what to do with this vision. We don't know how to be in this insight.

The mind is an uncertain thing. This body is uncertain. Together they are impermanent. Together they are a source of suffering. Together they are devoid of self. These, the Buddha pointed out, are neither a being, nor a person, nor a self, nor a soul, nor us, nor they. They are merely elements: earth, water, fire, and wind. Elements only!
When the mind sees this, it will rid itself of attachment which holds that "I" am beautiful, "I" am good, "I" am evil, "I" am suffering, "I" have, "I" this, or "I" that. You will experience a state of unity, for you'll have seen that all of mankind is basically the same. There is no "I". There are only elements.
(- Ajahn Chah: Bodhinyana, (18 June 1918, Thailand - 1992), meditation master, Theravada Buddhism)

None of it makes sense. The bit cannot see whole. The bite is one mouthful. We cannot see around the curve. Time doesn't tell; time is silent.

"Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father in Me." (Jn. 14:11)

Then, later, in John's gospel:
17 Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.
18 As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world.
19 And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth.
20 Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word;
21 That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.
22 And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one:
23 I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.
24 Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am; that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me: for thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world.
25 O righteous Father, the world hath not known thee: but I have known thee, and these have known that thou hast sent me.
26 And I have declared unto them thy name, and will declare it: that the love wherewith thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them.
(John 17:17-26 KJV)

The earth turns. It is today. Time trickles. People appear and disappear. I long to disappear. (Which I? The "I" that separates and objectifies? The "I" that defends what it thinks belongs to only "it"?)

My heart says: Look with me; Listen with me; There is nothing else.

"Only one book is worth reading: the heart."
"When sitting in meditation, say, "That's not my business!" with every thought that comes by."
"The heart of the path is quite easy. There's no need to explain anything at length. Let go of love and hate and let things be. That's all that I do in my own practice."
"We practice to learn how to let go, not how to increase our holding on to things. Enlightenment appears when you stop wanting anything."
"If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace. If you let go completely, you will have complete peace."
"You are your own teacher. Looking for teachers can't solve your own doubts. Investigate yourself to find the truth - inside, not outside. Knowing yourself is most important."
(--Venerable Ajahn Chah, monk of the Thai Forest tradition of Theravada)

Here is what I know: If not here, then nowhere; If not now, then never; If not you, then no one.

One is one. One and one is one. One and one and one is one.

Don't be fooled. The people who kill and harm, the people who kill and harm in response to those who kill and harm, are an unbroken circle of one act acting on the selfsame reality. So too are those that love and comfort, heal and nurture -- one selfsame reality. Masters of every age have been trying to tell us about this.

Be made perfect in one?

Let things be.

How?

Speak now!

Angels weep.

We don't know what to make of these times. A president whose two elections are suspect and whose conduct as leader mortifies. A pope whose odd choice of quote inflames Islamic anger. A populace whose awareness is fractioned by wariness and wastefulness.

It is more than any no-self respecting hermit care bear.

Deep on the mountain's an unseen cloister;
Wicker shadows lock in the long bamboos.
Suddenly there's a bell
Ringing now and then,
Empty valley filling with white clouds

Off drawing water, an old monk returns;
Pine-tree dew stains his robe green.
Bell barely murmurs; the cloister gate has closed.
Mountain birds, all by themselves,
Skirmish over roosting spots.
- Ch'en Fou (1240 - 1319)

It's strange to consider being no-self. I don't know what those eastern thinkers are not thinking about. It could be they understand the nature of human foolishness and futility masked as bravado. It could be they weep for our illusion and ignorance.

This morning a row around Curtis island. The rhythm of oar and swell and solitude.

Close to a hundred people at hermitage remembrance yesterday. One of us leaves; one hundred gather. Odd ratio.

About president, pope, and populace -- it is a troubling meditation. Actors in Noh drama. We twirl dance, drama, music and poetry into one highly aesthetic stage art between birth and death. Then we claim there is no birth, and no death. The life between these absences is unsteady.

Only twirl.

Dizzy yet?

Sit awhile.

Note: A Memorial Service in honor of Sylvia Barney

Beginning 1:00pm today, 17Sept2006, at Meetingbrook Hermitage, 64 Barnestown Road, Camden Maine, there will be a Memorial Service in honor of Sylvia Barney.

Park at the Snow Bowl, walk up Barnestown Road to the 3rd driveway on the left.

Sylvia's Memorial coincides with the feastday Hildegard of Bingin.

Music, poetry, food, sunshine, and a Eu-share-logy Circle will take place.

Come by(e)!

..............................................


A Remembrance of Sylvia

Sylvia Jannet Barney
9 February 1946 – 4 September 2006

At Meetingbrook Hermitage, 17Sept2006, on the Feast of Hildegard of Bingin

* harp welcome…cheryl
* violin prelude …janet
* welcome…bill
* introductory celtic prayer…lola
* song “gently down the stream”…janet & john
* poem, "my heart being hungry" by edna st vincent millay
* song, “the farthest field”…tina
* poem, "wild geese" (by mary oliver)
* music, “ashokan farewell”…saskia, sam, janet
* eu-share-logy* (a circle of sharing good words of sylvia’s presence)
* song, “now the green blade riseth “ (titled; “love is come again”)…janet & saskia (then all sing)
* psalm 7,8 (nan merrill version)…saskia
* chant of heart sutra, (part of 49 day buddhist prayer for the deceased)
* metta, (sending loving-kindness)…bill

~ may all beings be happy
~ may all beings be safe
~ may all beings come to dwell in their true home
..................................

“The wonder of the world, the beauty and the power,
The shape of things, their colours, lights and shades,
These I saw. Look ye also while life lasts”
(Words from a north country churchyard quoted by Denys Watkins-Pitchford (1905-1990) of Nothamptonshire)

............................
*("Eu-share-logy" is an intersecting of two words -- Eulogy and Share. A Eusharelogy Circle is the loving practice of speaking well {of Sylvia} in the space between us, in the middle of a shared presence.)