Sunday, June 22, 2025

through dooms of love

when my father died

fifty years ago today

we found half-full

pint bottles of whiskey

in chest of drawers 

with socks, handkerchiefs,

teeshirts and shorts --


in his 20s when The

Depression began,

Defense non-combat

boatyard through WWII

furniture salesman at 

A.H.Stiehl’s in NYC


a good man with empty

bottles who also visited poor 

families in parish with

St Vincent de Paul brothers

when they needed help

never speaking of it at home


drinking was quiet and 

familial those days, cocktails

at lunch, beers at night (maybe

one as he shaved before work)

the delicatessen and market

would send this ten year old

home with quarts of Rheingold 


and Shaeffer in brown bag

back up from 20th avenue --

it was the fifties, Camel

cigarettes and Brooklyn Eagle

bag of potatoes, peas and carrots

Dodgers still at Ebbet’s Field


my come-to-Jesus awakening

that my father loved me

sitting at school desk upstate NY

deciding it was so between Greek

and Latin exercises -- deciding?

life for him was grid of concrete

and asphalt, his nostalgia for green


a feared intruder (why that phrase?)

had entered the house, I sat

on front porch under tree shade

he lay dead in small room, heart

just gave out, asking his wife

to take off his shoes, still, gone

collapsing in kitchen, crawled


I drove down West Side Highway

through Battery Tunnel under

Twin Towers to sit on bed with him

still, gone, before body released

taken to funeral home blocks away

house now empty, room empty,

pint bottles empty, prayer as well

solitude

 how did it get so late --

nothing moves

climb stairs, turn off light 

corpus christi

If I were to talk 

about the body of christ

first I'd touch your hand

Saturday, June 21, 2025

illusion has no place here

I’m waiting for you to answer me. 

The Way transcends any aspect of

Going or coming, 

 

Movement or quiescence, 

 

So one cannot realize satori by 

 

Waiting for it.


-- Daito (1282-1334)

No, that’s not it.

No answer. No waiting. You/me one reality.

I’m here because you’re here.

Things equal to the same thing are here within one thing.

And différance* accentuates a variagated relational unity and unanimity.

All suggestion of separation is suggestion of illusion that has no place here. 

*Différance is a French term coined by Jacques Derrida. Roughly speaking, the method of différance is a way to analyze how signs (words, symbols, metaphors, etc) come to have meanings. It suggests that meaning is not inherent in a sign but arises from its relationships with other signs, a continual process of contrasting with what comes before and later. That is, a sign acquires meaning by being different from other signs. The meaning of a sign changes over time, as new signs keep appearing and old signs keep disappearing. It is central to Derrida's concept of deconstruction, a critical outlook concerned with the relationship between text and meaning.

However, the meaning of a sign is not just determined by the system of signs present currently. Past meanings leave "traces", and possible future meanings "haunt". The meaning of a sign is determined by the interaction between past traces, future haunts, and the system of signs present right now.(wikipedia) 

Contrast consolidates consistency.

Variation verifies verition. 

According to [Jean] Gebser, one of the chief hallmarks of the rising Integral structure of consciousness is that it will feature a whole new method of verition, as he calls it—i.e., of verifying to ourselves what we know. This system will be totally unlike the weary dialectics of the mental structure of consciousness and will feature not only a new depth of consciousness (Gebser calls it a “fourth dimension”), but also a more energized and in fact transmissory presence. It will reveal itself, as Gebser repeatedly emphasizes, as “not an expansion but an intensification of consciousness.”

https://www.cynthiabourgeault.org/blog/2022/01/04/three-centered-awareness 

what is it i know

I asked Jesus about the world.

He looked at me, surprised.

“You know,” he said, “You know

what’s going on.”

“No,” I said, "I really don’t.”

He shook his head, walking away

“You know,” he said, disappearing

war

 No matter what you think of it, war is a great way of diverting attention from ordinary problems besetting a people.

Now we are at war, again.

War is a blanket covering a sick body.

This from George Conway:

Much as I would not dare to predict the consequences of this war, I do think we can summarize it thusly so far:


A smart and evil man manipulated a stupid and evil man into a war against a fanatical and evil regime.

café des amateurs

 Reading Ernest Hemingway’s Short Stories, come across the Café des Amateurs in “The Snows of Kilimanjaro.” The café has been replaced. I’m not sure Hemingway has.

Except, in Rockport Harbor, when I visit with coffee and donuts, I look out at the lobster boat “Hemingway” close in to docks.

Tourists walk to wharf, glance this way and that, aim cellphone this way ant that, turn and return to car. Obligatory recording of where they'd been. 

Schooner Heron snug on its lines. 

Here in 2017 new launch, “Hemingway” motors to mooring. In 2025 it swings with tide and wind, season's traps loaded aboard for later setting in Penobscot Bay.

friday evening conversation

 Can one live without beliefs?

Yes, decidedly so.

Beliefs box up thoughts, preferences, 

passing images. Beliefs tuck the

ephemeral into time capsule.


Can one live without faith?

No, emphatically not.

Faith is the trust that what is passing

will, as it goes, touch you becoming

elsewise enroute elsewhere


Mind wants to freeze the vibrant

into solid amber. It's what it does,

taking the random and effervescent 

and setting it into file cabinet and folder,

a tab atop for reference.


But thinking, yes thinking, sees what is

passing ever and ever becoming itself.

Seeing what is becoming itself is thinking.

Which is a skill and disposition seldom 

practiced, infrequently attended.


Mind freezes, faith thaws

body and soul are not two things, but

interweaving motion and pathway

tumbling like summer morning mist

and rising fog over harbor waters.


Residual energy does not reside in

freed awareness, but spirit goes its way through

and through, this breath that breath, this one

and This One skirting silence into and 

through each sound, each bell, bamboo tube

thinking is not perseveration nor rationalizing not nitpicking

 Thinking?

Let’s say thinking is seeing what is passing through.

Thinking is this looking and seeing.

What is.

Passing through.

Friday, June 20, 2025

summer

 arrives

school’s


out


no


more

learning

we watch him fade into incoherent ill-will

 I cannot help my brother’s ignorance

He holds it tight out of reach — he is

Far too comfortable being wrong, we

Are not able to see him, covered as he is

With others’ grief, sorrow, and fear —

While he feels nothing, not caring 

Someone beyond recognition, a

Disappointment too profound to name

absurdus, (deaf, dull, out of tune)

 a sober. moment

Native man speaks about

youth on reservation

hanging themselves


his eyes travel lost distance

as we sit in prison room

talking about the between-

place after death, the business


we have to take care of ourselves

or others will suffer our neglect

and harm for not hearing Creator

Source calling true name 


out 

from 

under 

false

Thursday, June 19, 2025

c'est si triste à regarder

For prison tomorrow, Voltaire, here #25 of 38 Oxford Reference:

25. Truly, whoever is able to make you absurd is able to make you unjust.                                Commonly quoted as ‘Those who can make you believe in absurdities can make you commit atrocities’  Questions sur les miracles (1765)

Heartbreakingly accurate portrait of our contemporary sorrow. 

if war comes

empty pellegrino 

bottle

on faded

green tibetan rug

scent of white rose 

bush by road 

alone

as if whole 

world here

no reflection

blank mirror

memo from god

 My dear republicans

Stop doing what you’re doing

Even I am getting pissed off

until the see

Bevy of hermits? 

Why not,                                                                                                            

Our lives wither away like grass, but you O Lord are eternal. 

It remains impossible for me to comprehend that here is god, there is god , everywhere is god. And that this Reality is beyond time, beyond space, beyond matter, beyond thought.

So, yeah, let’s all be hermits in the spirit of Romuald.

Romuald (LatinRomualdus; c. 951 – traditionally 19 June, c. 1025/27 AD)[4] was the founder of the Camaldolese order and a major figure in the eleventh-century "Renaissance of eremitical asceticism".[5] Romuald spent about 30 years traversing Italy, founding and reforming monasteries and hermitages. (Wikipedia)

Wandering ascetics going nowhere, rooted itinerants unsettling down, circumambulating asymmetric mendicants turning in and through dewy mornings — panoply of impersonhood  — hereness itself manifestating and hiding — to appreciate and serve the presence of each!

Ant. 3 Our years wither away like grass, but you, Lord God, are eternal.

Psalm 90
May we live in the radiance of God 

There is no time with God: a thousand years, a single day: it is all one (2 Peter 3:8).

O Lord, you have been our refuge
from one generation to the next.
Before the mountains were born
or the earth or the world brought forth,
you are God, without beginning or end.

You turn men back into dust
and say: “Go back, sons of men.”
To your eyes a thousand years
are like yesterday, come and gone,
no more than a watch in the night.

You sweep men away like a dream,
like grass which springs up in the morning.
In the morning it springs up and flowers:
by evening it withers and fades.

So we are destroyed in your anger,
struck with terror in your fury.
Our guilt lies open before you;
our secrets in the light of your face.

All our days pass away in your anger.
Our life is over like a sigh.
Our span is seventy years
or eighty for those who are strong.

And most of these are emptiness and pain.
They pass swiftly and we are gone.
Who understands the power of your anger
and fears the strength of your fury?

Make us know the shortness of our life
that we may gain wisdom of heart.
Lord, relent! Is your anger for ever?
Show pity to your servants.

In the morning, fill us with your love;
we shall exult and rejoice all our days.
Give us joy to balance our affliction
for the years when we knew misfortune.

Show forth your work to your servants;
let your glory shine on their children.
Let the favor of the Lord be upon us:
give success to the work of our hands,
give success to the work of our hands.

For God’s sake,  help one another!

June 19

Saint Romuald, Abbot

Optional Memorial

Saint Romuald was an Italian hermit born around 950 A.D. The son of aristocratic parents, Saint Romuald indulged as a lavish and thoughtless youth. Shocked by witnessing his father win a duel, Saint Romuald fled to a local abbey and entered religious life. Drawn to eremitic simplicity, he traveled through Italy reforming monasteries and eventually founded the Camaldolese Order. As Saint Peter Damian described, Saint Romuald’s goal was to, “…turn the whole world into a hermitage, and make all the multitude of the people associates of the monastic order.” [1][2] https://divineoffice.org/

Romuald

It’s that “God” thing.
The completely beyond.
The concentric invisibility.
The next thing you look at.

As the zen-hermit sang:

(Leonard Cohen

And all shall be hermits, until the see shall find them, and they sink into your wisdom like a stone.

Wednesday, June 18, 2025

this breath, then this, then…

 However it is

Just as it is

Our life


Back then

It began, ahead

It will end —Just that


Unsure what

To think — don’t

You won’t know


It has happened

So don’t know

Now — 

hard to know what will kill me

No peanut butter 

today, no Chivers

Marmalade

coffee,

Only

Wires on chest, imaging —

Treadmill, needle insertion

tell us thirty seconds before you collapse

cowbird sits on branch --

I sit by bay window, stress

test done, not yet dead 

objecting to honor

 It seems we are lost

In one man’s delusion, one

Party’s giddiness

i’m not sinning, i’m republican

bulky guys in masks

throw folks to ground, to cars, 

tough guys, flex-strutting --

we watch -- unbelieving -- this

unholy America 

Tuesday, June 17, 2025

what rough breast

 it's a strange time, strangely slouching

threats to bomb, then bombing

threats to murder, then murdering

laughing at atrocities, US Senator

thinks only political winning matters


world leaders hurl threats and missiles

on civilians and children calling it

the right of national pride to poke

and preen and smile, count money

mock everybody, hurt, hurt with spite


the world is folding in on itself

the anatomy of lies, frail body

depleting democracy’s blood flow

drilling minds with blatant falsehoods

our new spawn of deviant desperation

the orderly harmony of what exists

 doing dishes

listening to The Ethics

(Ethica Ordine 

Geometrico Demonstrata)

(1677) by Benedict de Spinoza


pots, pans, cups, glasses

spoons, knives, forks

(God as non-acting) he says

frying pan overturned on stove

Meyer's dish soap next to faucet


(God can form the idea of his own essence)

I feed cats, prepare dog’s breakfast

here in Maine at foot of Ragged Mtn

far away from seventeenth century

far from Baruch’s thought and agita

Albert Einstein named Spinoza as the philosopher who exerted the most influence on his world view (Weltanschauung). Spinoza equated God (infinite substance) with Nature, consistent with Einstein's belief in an impersonal deity. In 1929, Einstein was asked in a telegram by Rabbi Herbert S. Goldstein whether he believed in God. Einstein responded by telegram: "I believe in Spinoza's God who reveals himself in the orderly harmony of what exists, not in a God who concerns himself with the fates and actions of human beings."[198][199] Einstein wrote the preface to a biography of Spinoza, published in 1946.[200] wikipedia

I like to hear people talk about God

It is a tumble worth the conversation 

like the man in prison thinking there is

too much "thinking, thinking, thinking”

(it was final circle, no riposting)


The idea of Jesus being 


"the last Christian, 


except for Spinoza" 


is attributed to 


Friedrich Nietzsche




Me... I’m just doing dishes, cutting grass


thinking about an electric trike


continuing with Baruch de Spinoza


filling black catcher bag with cuttings

Enso watching from dirt under lilac

inter … view

 Q: Do you practice?

A: There’s never a moment . . . I am not . . . practicing.

Q: Could you explain this for us?

A: No. I cannot explain this. This is all there is. It has no explanation.

Q: Do you have anything else to add?

A: There is nothing else to add. There’s nothing between us.

Monday, June 16, 2025

not again

he shot and killed the legislator 

and her husband in Minneapolis 

he shot and seriously wounded 


another legislator and his wife 

in Minneapolis 

they caught him yesterday


I know why he did it --

don't you?

yeah, you know


its the price of eggs

the cost of gasoline

spring rolls and won ton soup


once we get this

there will be no further 

murders, no foolish thinking


I’m happy to be of assistance

we cannot blame everything

on trump, not this ignorance


not this crazy belief that violence

and greed will solve the puzzle of 

making America greatly self-absorbed

Sunday, June 15, 2025

hat lamp at 11pm

Two golden specks

Other side of fence

Stare back at me

Final ensō pee

Deer passing by

sometimes, only beauty is the response


 (Japan, photographer Jii Tewari)

invitatory, matins, harden not your hearts

 Deum verum, unum in Trinitáte, 

The True God is Unity in Trinity, 


et Trinitátem in Unitáte, 

and Trinity in Unity. 


Veníte, adorémus.

Come, let us worship.


Deum verum, unum in Trinitáte, 

The True God is Unity in Trinity, 


et Trinitátem in Unitáte, 

and Trinity in Unity. 


Veníte, adorémus.

Come, let us worship.


(Ps. 94) Veníte, exsultémus Dómino,

(Ps. 94) Come let us praise the Lord with joy:



jubilémus Deo, salutári nostro.

let us joyfully sing to God our saviour.


Præoccupémus fáciem ejus

Let us come before his presence


in confessióne,

in confessióne,


et in psalmis jubilémus ei.

and make a joyful noise to him with psalms. 


Deum verum, unum in Trinitáte, 

The True God is Unity in Trinity, 


et Trinitátem in Unitáte, 

and Trinity in Unity. 


Veníte, adorémus.

Come, let us worship.


Quóniam Deus magnus Dóminus,

For the Lord is a great God, 


et rex magnus super omnes deos.

and a great King above all gods. 


Quóniam non repéllet Dóminus plebem suam,

For the Lord will not cast off his people: 


quia in manu ejus sunt omnes fines terræ,

for in his hand are all the ends of the earth, 


et altitúdines móntium ipse cónspicit.

and the heights of the mountains are his. 


Quóniam ipsíus est mare,

For the sea is his, 


et ipse fecit illud,

and he made it: 


et áridam fundavérunt manus ejus.

and his hands formed the dry land. 


Veníte, adorémus, et procidámus ante Deum,

Come let us adore and fall down: 


plorémus coram Dómino, qui fecit nos,

and weep before the Lord that made us: 


quia ipse est Dóminus, Deus noster, 

For he is the Lord our God: 


nos autem pópulus ejus,

and we are the people of his pasture 


et oves páscuæ ejus.

and the sheep of his hand. 


Deum verum, unum in Trinitáte, 

The True God is Unity in Trinity, 


et Trinitátem in Unitáte, 

and Trinity in Unity. 


Veníte, adorémus.

Come, let us worship.


Hódie, si vocem ejus audiéritis:

Today if you shall hear his voice, 


«Nolíte obduráre corda vestra,

harden not your hearts: 


sicut in exacerbatióne secúndum diem tentatiónis in desérto:


As in the provocation, according to the day of temptation in the wilderness: 


ubi tentavérunt me patres vestri:

where your fathers tempted me, 


probavérunt et vidérunt ópera mea.

they proved me, and saw my works.


Veníte, adorémus.

Come, let us worship.


Quadragínta annis próximus fui generatióni huic, et dixi:

Forty years long was I offended with that generation, 

and I said: 


Semper hi errant corde.

These always err in heart. 


Ipsi vero non cognovérunt vias meas:

And these men have not known my ways: 


quibus jurávi in ira mea:

so I swore in my wrath 


Si introíbunt in réquiem meam.»

that they shall not enter into my rest.


Deum verum, unum in Trinitáte, 

The True God is Unity in Trinity, 


et Trinitátem in Unitáte, 

and Trinity in Unity. 


Veníte, adorémus.

Come, let us worship.


Glória Patri, et Fílio, 

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, 


et Spirítui Sancto.

and to the Holy Spirit.


Sicut erat in princípio, et nunc, et semper,

As it was in the beginning, is now,


et in sǽcula sæculórum. Amen.

and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.


Veníte, adorémus.

Come, let us worship.


Deum verum, unum in Trinitáte, 

The True God is Unity in Trinity, 


et Trinitátem in Unitáte, 

and Trinity in Unity. 


Veníte, adorémus.

Come, let us worship


(—from Neumz, feast of trinity )