Me?
Don’t mind me.
Our real mind
Has no beginning,
No end;
Do not fancy
That we are born, and die.
— Ikkyu (1394-1481)
Unminded me disappears.
What remains?
Peach kefir, water in cat’s bowl, pain in tailbone.
Middle of night.
The usual.
Friday, November 13, 2026
do not fancy
Thursday, November 12, 2026
conceived by
I grew up as a youth in Brooklyn with the Baltimore Catechism. I studied it. Not understandable, but readable.
LESSON 1 -- The Purpose of Man's Existence
1. Who made us?
God made us.
In the beginning, God created heaven and earth. (Gn 1,1)
2. Who is God?
God is the Supreme Being, infinitely perfect, who made all things and keeps them in existence.
In him we live and move and have our being. (Ac 17,28)
3. Why did God make us?
God made us to show forth His goodness and to share with us His everlasting happiness in heaven.
Eye has not seen nor ear heard, nor has it entered into the heart of man, what things God has prepared for those who love him. (1Co 2,9)
4. What must we do to gain the happiness of heaven?
To gain the happiness of heaven we must know, love, and serve God in this world.
Lay not up to yourselves treasures on earth; where the rust and moth consume and where thieves break through and steal. But lay up to yourselves treasures in heaven; where neither the rust nor moth doth consume, and where thieves do not break through nor steal. (Mt 6,19-20)
5. From whom do we learn to know, love, and serve God?
We learn to know, love, and serve God from Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who teaches us through the Catholic Church.
I have come a light into the world that whoever believes in Me may not remain in darkness. (Jn 12,46)
6. Where do we find the chief truths taught by Jesus Christ through the Catholic Church?
We find the chief truths taught by Jesus Christ through the Catholic Church in the Apostles' Creed.
He that heareth you heareth me; and he that despiseth you despiseth me; and he that despiseth me despiseth him that sent me. (Lc 10,16)
7. Say the Apostles' Creed.
I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, Our Lord; who was conceived by the Holy Ghost, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried. He descended into hell; the third day He arose again from the dead; He ascended into heaven, sitteth at the right hand of God, the Father Almighty; from thence He shall come to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Ghost, the Holy Catholic Church, the communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen.
A Catechism of Christian Doctrine, Prepared and Enjoined by Order of the Third Council of Baltimore, or simply the Baltimore Catechism,[1] was the national Catholic catechism for children in the United States, based on Robert Bellarmine's 1614 Small Catechism. The first such catechism written for Catholics in North America, it was the standard Catholic school text in the country from 1885 to the late 1960s. From its publication, however, there were calls to revise it, and many other catechisms were used during this period.[2] It was officially replaced by the United States Catholic Catechism for Adults in 2004,[3] based on the revised universal Catechism of the Catholic Church.
Not understandable, but readable. A lot like my life. And, maybe, yours.
Things seemed simple. A revised edition in 1941. Three years after it was published I was born. Perhaps it was revised for me. In graduate school my degree read Doctrina Religiosa, (Religious Teachings).
I never stopped studying. The central point of my studies just kept widening.:Comparative religion, comparative philosophy, comparative spirituality, ethics, mythology, poetry. Until, these days, my inquiry seems edgeless. As I soon will be.
Looking back, a good beginning.
Looking forward, no end to it.
for even a short time
We gesture.
‘Stay, hi, see ya, c’mon closer, I honor you, pass the biscuits.’
Our bodies are a language unto themselves. We speak by appearance, presence, movement and stillness.
When one displays the buddha mudra
with one's whole body and mind,
sitting upright in this samadhi
for even a short time,
everything in the entire dharma world
becomes buddha mudra,
and all space in the universe
completely becomes enlightenment.
—Dogen (1200-1253)
Our bodies are signatures to unspoken statements urging toward understanding and respect.
We are a standing or sitting panegyric. Our bodies say ‘look through this’ and ‘see what is being pointed to’.
Become the path to enlightenment.
Travel yourself along the trail covered by oak leaves to open vistas and stand in reverence with everything watching with you.
Wednesday, November 11, 2026
no-where to go
It's true, i've been thinking about death. It took a turn off barnestown road and drove into dooryard. It took me to visit the ct scan and mri machines at the hospital, the cancer care folks, the pharmacy in town, the tired naps and slow realization there's no need to buy an electric bike or renew passport. I order gifts for son, niece, and nephew who'll visit at thanksgiving.
I read and listen to books, novels and scholarly works. When I feel up to it I go into prison on monday and friday mornings.
I sit a lot. My coccyx is dissatisfied with so much sitting.
I sit with God. God is silent. Unloquacious, as I am.
"Nothing in all creation is so like God as stillness." (--Meister Eckhart)
I'm at the age people die. I see it every day. Octogenarians fill NYTimes newsprint. The famous get their own columns. The hoi polloi get an inch in back pages.
I think my epitaph should read "Neither here nor there."
I suspect there's no-where to go.
So, I will.
When time un-presents Itself.
on our blindness
to all veterans
well done
thank you
for your service
to all who didn't
serve
stand and wait
recognize when
it arises
what is asked
say yes, act with
decency and honor
Tuesday, November 10, 2026
then just return
Has it been hundreds of years? I'm aware of 82. Perhaps a little more sitting and kinhin and it will become clear.
Turn around the light to shine within,
then just return.
Let go of hundreds of years
and relax completely.
Open your hands and walk,
innocently.
--Shitou Xiqian (700-790)
石頭希遷 Shitou Xiqian (700–790) 參同契 Cantongq Rōmaji:) Sekitō Kisen: Sandōkai English:) Harmony of Difference and Equality / Identity of Relative and Absolute / Inquiry into Matching Halves
Happy that the US election turned out as it did. Looking forward to the diminishing of corruption.
As for my soul -- looking forward to the diminishing of corruption.
The universe comprises all of existence: all forms of matter and energy in space and time, and the structures they form, from subatomic particles to entire galactic filaments. Since the early 20th century, the field of cosmology has established that the universe has been expanding for 13.8 billion years, starting from a dense fireball in an event called the Big Bang.[9] The observable portion of the universe is approximately 93 billion light-years in diameter at present. The total size of the universe is not known.[10] wikipedia
Pretty big, pretty old.
When I die I'm told i will dissolve back into the size and duration of the universe. Mommy and daddy. The stories told. The explanations, the interpretations, the heuristics.
Is God that which the universe explicates? Or is the universe our supposition of God?
It is Tuesday. I need coffeemilk, diet tonic and hormone treatment preparation pills from town.
Life doesn't end.
It becomes Itself.
Open your hands and walk
innocently.
Monday, November 09, 2026
morning, after stroll with ensõ
cats get midday treat
dog gets biscuit
i get boost
november shrivels
oak leaves on path
to (again) running brook
just beyond yurt
an infinity times bigger?
This poem goes into prison this morning.
God Is Not a Father
BY JASWINDER BOLINA
When you ask, I tell you God is just a word for things
We don’t understand yet. Outside the packed tavern,
A solitary drunk staggers into a sudden shaft of sun
Like he’s about to be raptured or transported
Onto a starship. The furry waveform of a squirrel
Bounds into the hard particles of traffic. You look small
Even for a little kid eating Goldfish® crackers
In a booster seat in the rearview mirror. When you ask,
I tell you some call it God, but others call it Om
Or Satnam or Unkulunkulu, and some call it Father,
But god is not a father. Because god is a mommy?
You ask. I tell you maybe, but some say god is
Something greater than a mommy or a daddy.
You say, Nothing is greater than mommy.
I tell you maybe, but some say god is the first cause,
And some say God is the last word, and some don’t
Say anything at all because is supposed to be
A sound louder than the mouth, an idea bigger
Than the mind. A billion or a quadrillion
Or an infinity times bigger? I tell you
Nothing is bigger than the mind. I tell you
Infinity is just a word for things we haven’t
Figured out yet. Some say it isn’t even real.
But you say, Infinity is real, and I tell you maybe
Because a father doesn’t need to be a zealot or a cudgel.
It starts to rain. The wipers wave back and forth
Like arms above a revival. You inhale
A boxful of raisins. You pound a pouchful of yogurt.
I call you a bottomless bunny, and you giggle
Like a windchime. We drive through the downpour
Listening to human music. You ask, How did I learn
How to talk? You ask, How does the rain rain?
You ask, Who was the first person? Was he lonely?
The rain stops. A sunburst douses the road
In a nearly intolerable light. I tell you, By listening.
I tell you, By gravity. I tell you the first person
Was a squiggle of nucleotides dropped
From a meteorite into a bubble of petroleum
In a tide pool on the Proterozoic earth. You ask,
When will we be home? I want to see Mommy.
I tell you maybe six minutes.
I tell you probably ten.
Source: Poetry (November 2026
Those four minutes . . . truly, an infinity times bigger.
Sunday, November 08, 2026
corpus dilectum
Where have you
Carried me, body
To that tick’s mouth
On lower leg
The drop of blood
The itch, the ointment
mar atá dia
pills
proliferate
glasses of water
sink them
down esophagus
returning glass
to sink
empty
ready for
evening diet tonic-
water with ice
watching britbox
through 6pm pill
10pm pill
bedtime pills
I’m sick
of them,
medicines for
WM, plus another
stage IV, my
semi-cranky
attitude
as body
folds into Itself,
mar atá Dia
(as God is)
Saturday, November 07, 2026
of course death with dignity, just not yet
Rain soaked
Fog nestles in trees
A new treatment
For new cancer
To begin
Doctor is optimistic
Forestalling hospice
We leave hospital office
Drink coffee at harbor
An incoming tide
Creamy quiche
Demasted sailboats
Friday, November 06, 2026
is itself each stasis
The frugality of Robert Creeley.
With metaphor, we are being carried within and through what seems to be right there, before us, into something off to the side, unimposing, while showing us through and through.
The author affirms that the poetical work
with language oscillates between voice and
thought, presence and absence. This argument
contributes to his statement which says that
every true poet can perfectly develop precise
reasoning and abstract thought, since the most
authentic philosophy is in the objects we
observe and reflect upon, as well as in the act of
thinking itself and its maneuvers (idem, p. 208).
Valéry approximates the act of philosophical
thought to the poet’s process of thinking, and affirms
that the poet has his/her abstract thought and, as some
say, a particular philosophy, for the poetical work
implies reflections, decisions, choices and
combinations. The author also states that the value of
a poem is in the indissolubility of sound and sense,
and the poet’s task is to give us the feeling of intimate
union between sound and spirit. He goes beyond when
he shows that this desire to get sound and sense
together is part of language itself, because there is a
priori relation between the sounds of the letters, their
union, and the meaning attributed to them. How can
“horse”, “cheval” and “cavalo” designate the same
object? According to Valéry, this process that
approximates sounds and letters and constitutes ideas
is a characteristic of metaphor.
Self’s Metaphorical
Robert Creeley: A transportação metafórica do mínimo eu, by Rubelise da Cunha)
It is both sweet and unimaginable to be carried away, to travel through and through, the unexpected and the revelation of it.
“Focus” e “Shadow”: the minimal self’s gaze
FOCUS
Patches of grey
sky tree’s
lines window
frames the
plant hangs
in middle.
SHADOW
There is a shadow
to intention a place
it comes through and
is itself each stasis
of its mindedness ex-
plicit walled into
semblance it is a
seemingly living place
it wants it fades it
comes and goes it puts
a yellow flower in a pot
in a circle and looks.
There are tired leaves holding on to nearby nearly bare branches off northeast edge of house before barnestown road.
I glance at them.
They are seen.
omni tempore
Dog snores in other room
Darkness at window panes
My brothers and sisters
Pray night office from choir stalls
Say it, go ahead
Benedícam Dóminum
In ómni témpore.— I will
Bless the Lord at all times
Thursday, November 05, 2026
the interconnexion in inviolable
It’s never good when your oncologist calls you at home the night before your next day appointment with him to prepare you for what he’ll have to say to you at that appointment.
What the Stoics call fate, which they identify with the working out of the – rational and predictable – will of Zeus, is “a certain natural everlasting ordering of the whole: one set of things follows on and succeeds another, and the interconnexion in inviolable” (Aulus Gellius, 55K). In other words, every event that occurs in the world is the result of a cause or chain of causes, so that everything that happens is metaphysically determined by preceding causes in the chain (but not logically necessary; cf. de Harven 2016). This sequence of causes is inescapable.
The inescapability of this sequence of causes leads to concerns about action and moral responsibility. The first worry, which takes the form of the so-called “lazy argument” (Cicero, 55S) is that, if all my actions and their consequences are predetermined, there is no point in acting at all: why call the doctor when ill, if it is determined that the doctor will come? The second worry is that if my actions come about by prior causes, they are not in my power and I am therefore not truly responsible for them.
In response to the former challenge, Chrysippus claimed that not all events are independent of one another. Rather, some are co-fated: part of one and the same causal chain in such a way that they cannot be dissociated. The call to the doctor and the doctor’s coming are so joined, as is the patient’s healing. The doctor will not come if she is not called, and the patient will not heal if the doctor does not come. Calling the doctor is thus not superfluous or pointless. The consequences of our actions may be predetermined, but only insofar as they are caused by our actions. Our actions are thus not pointless: we must act in order to ensure their consequences come about (see further critical discussion in Brennan 2005, ch. 16).
Well, that explains everything.
I will ask about medically assisted you know what. The thought of which does not deter my so-called journey.
He’s a nice chap, the doctor.
Until tomorrow then.
by a way in which you possess not
John of the Cross, imprisoned for nine months in 1577, wrote this:
To reach satisfaction in all,
desire its possession in nothing.
To come to the knowledge of all, desire the knowledge of nothing.
To come to possess all, desire the possession of nothing.
To arrive at being all, desire to be nothing.
To come to the pleasure you have not,
you must go by a way in which you enjoy not.
To come to the knowledge you have not,
you must go by a way in which you know not.
To come to the possession you have not,
you must go by a way in which you possess not.
To come to be what you are not,
you must go by a way in which you are not.
When you turn toward something,
you cease to cast yourself upon the all.
For to go from the all to the all,
you must leave yourself in all.
And when you come to the possession of all,
you must possess it without wanting anything.
In this nakedness the spirit finds its rest,
for when it covets nothing,
nothing raises it up,
and nothing weighs it down,
because it is in the center of its humility.
___ St. John of the Cross (1542-1591)
I’m unsure of many things.
Life feels tenuous. I say aloud I’m not sure I look forward to an afterlife. In fact, I prefer there not be an afterlife. No God, no angels, relatives, friends, familiarities known during this spate of existence.
Just that. No burning hell, no soothing heaven. Neither.
And why do I feel this way? I’m not sure. Perhaps it's the hermit speaking -- to be left alone -- or, in this case, to enter the alone without any interior or exterior reference.
The terrain and aesthetic of anesthesia without the bother of return.
And if there is an afterlife, perhaps one can apply for a passport exempting entrance into something while remaining outside the gates in nothing.
And if there is a God, and God is merciful, I’ll be ignored and let not be.
Why go on?
Let the psychic and material protons, electrons, neutrons, atoms and improbable units of the cosmos go their separate ways back into the universe without cohesion, shape, or identity.
I don’t know about those medieval mystics or pre-socratic philosophers and where they were pointing -- but I feel some of what they felt.
I can, I think, let it go.
When I die, you’ll never know.
Nor, most likely, will I.
Possessing not.
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