Buddhist prayer flags hang outside Wohnküche between yew tree and overhang. They are threadbare, wrinkled, creased, and overworked in the first of November breeze.
They are my prayer.
The wind articulates them. bamboo wind chimes on either side give basso support to their silent dance. Sunlight tries to accentuate their once vibrant colors now drab and tired looking.
This is my prayer.
I have nothing to say. No-one to say it to. Nada. Nulla. Niente.
Still, deep memory and heartfelt longing gives urge and urgency to the archeological dig pleading along surface terrain for retrieval and new hermeneutic of lost civilizations of prayerful resonance.
(In background the catholic liturgy from Le Barroux, France begins to fade with organ solo after their liturgy for All Saints Day.)
I sit with this sound and sight of prayer flags, wind chimes, and cars passing on Barnestown Road. Cats fed, dog awaiting, coffee made, November here, temperature chilly, soul quiet, mind disturbed, a chocolate donut from Moody's Diner by breadbox.
It occurs to me, again, that we do not pray -- it is not I, me, you, we who pray -- that self-referential conceit is mere self-aggrandizing dualism affording upset when the (so-called) recipient of our prayer -- God -- does not respond in any manner recognizably in accord with our petition, praise, or petulant posturing.
Prayer is (these days) the stillness of deep reality.
It dwells undergirding the tumultuous comings and goings of opinion and belief besotting human beings.
It seeps into the paws and pores of animals, birds, and the scales of fish as each traverses the contours of earth.
Prayer (I suspect) is other than our wants, our negligent premises, our negotiating promises, our suspicions as to what is good or best for our benefit and auspices.
Prayer is (Itself).
It is as-it-is within (Itself).
Prayer prays (Itself), as-it-is, in every moment, at every place, through every dimension, for the sake of What-Is, as it comes to be, ever and anon.
I do not pray.
I am prayer Itself as it surrounds and passes through what I blithely refer to as "me."
If I act as a barrier, boundary, or impediment to the natural emergence of what-is-coming-to-be, I (we) remain objects and statistics, casualties and hostile aggressors seeking to impose our will on the incalculable mystery of Life/Being, the cosmotheandric inclusion of (what used to be known as) Divine Presence or Reality.
So, I step(s) aside.
My calculating and assessing rationalizations as to the comparative worth of other species, races, nationalities, economic status, belief systems, and opinions -- all fade like the hues of colored flags, all of which are prayer allowing themselves to be moved.
I surrender.
To no-one there.
Feeling the feelings that arise.
Engaging, when possible, to possibly relieve suffering and encourage healing.
Living a life...
Of prayer.